“Remember, don’t go to bed angry……..”
I’m sorry but seriously, if you say that to me……..go………just go.
Some fights are so important, so intimate, so passionate, you can’t get through it in an evening.
What do you do when you’re faced with such a fight? You’re left with a couple options:
-Stay awake and duke it out, hopefully not being so tired that you mis-speak or unnecessarily and inappropriately compromise.
-You guys sleep separately, in different rooms, different places.
-You suck it up, and sleep together.
ALWAYS SLEEP TOGETHER!!!!!!! Literally, there is almost no excuse to not always sleep with your spouse. LIKE EVER! I’m crushed when I hear about couple that say they don’t always sleep in the same bed. I don’t understand. There is nothing that would force me out of my marital bed.
You’ve had your fight. You and your spouse aren’t talking. You pass by each other in the halls of your home and probably brush your teeth in silent aggression. The slow walk to bed is next. Maybe you say “I love you”. Maybe it’s been such a bad fight that the two of you can’t stand looking at each other. You can’t collect the courage or strength to say anything. You’re lying there in the dark. Silently hoping, praying, and craving for your spouse to roll over and say they love you. Anything at all that can bring you two closer. You know the fight isn’t over. You know it’s going to pick back up tomorrow. But for tonight, the two of you need to console and comfort the other…IT’S BEEN A ROUGH NIGHT.
So, what now? You’re in the same bed, but you’re not touching, not holding each other, not kissing, not being intimate. ARE YOU REALLY TOGETHER? NO.
Well, let your toes do the talking.
I’m dead serious: if you can’t bring forth the courage to speak, or to rollover and grab your spouse and plant a big ‘ol kiss on ‘em, let you toes explore the furthest reaches of your bed until you find your spouses. The moment your toes touch, everything falls to the wayside. Your anger, frustration, hurt, and embarrassment all disappears in the moment of your skin touching theirs. You roll over, kiss, make up, embrace each other, and fall asleep…TOGETHER.
Listen, marriage is tough. There are times where you want to scream, you can’t contain the anger your partner is creating in you!!! Most fights are nothing-burgers, easy to overcome, easy to avoid, but then there are FIGHTS. These are the fights that cause secular couples to seek “conscious uncoupling”, but not us, not Catholics. “Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate.”- Mark 10:9.
We all fight, its natural, we all get mad, its natural, we all go to bed angry…its natural.
Don’t make your bed a place for distance, make your bed a place of togetherness.
The fight is still waiting for you when you wake up, but don’t waste a single night with your spouse.
You might not know which night is your last.